Myöhemmin's Blog

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Till death do us part

“Till death do us part!” This is the oath we sworn when getting married. You might have heard it and you might have answered, truthfully, hopefully, sincerely:” I do”.

No one would question your sincerity, “till death do us part” – except the unquestionable statistics.

tddupLet’s take a look: about 40% of first marriages end in divorce after about 8 years; then you take 3 years break and start your second marriage, that has 60% chances to end up in divorce after about 6 years. After this you’ve just learned the drill, so you can do it over and over again – unless your financial or physical status becames so bad that you’re not eligible anymore.

No reason to worry. The statistics have nothing to do with one individual life. One’s perfect or terrible marriage will be treated as an extreme case and will bear very little impact (impact?… because you are using “bear” before) on the entire picture… Unless it happened to your friend.

She got married with Prince Charming when she was 20. They lived happily ever after until one day when Price Charming realized that life is short and he wants more. That day didn’t come after 8 years – like in the statistics – didn’t come after 16 either, it came after 30 years.

So what did my friend so? After many long phone calls, a lot of thinking and a little bit of crying, she decided that she’s the one in charge of her life, it’s time to stop feeling sorry for herself and take action. She was used to a life where the man was around to do stuff, to open the car door, buy flowers, book the vacations… so she started looking for the same deal. However, in 30 years the rules of the game had changed totally! When you’re 20 and your future lies ahead, you don’t look at the CV to check what the man has achieved. What is important are his looks and if he feels full of promise. At 50 I have to tell you that how he looks is still important, however at the same time he has to have achieved also something in his life. One coca cola does not make your head spin anymore – just because it is not healthy 🙂

I can tell you that for a year or so, she brought me up to date with the dating experience and there is war out there. Some are young, good looking and is quite flattering that they are interested in you  – until they open their mouth and start talking.

If they pass the first test, by sustaining an intelligent conversation – it is very probable they fail the reliability test. Here there are 2 options: guys with a vivid imagination (or otherwise named liars)  or guys totally broke that can afford only the coca cola glass.

In another category, there are the successful men. They can talk the talk, they can walk the walk, they can invite you to dinner, they can pay their own dinner, sometimes even your dinner. The downside is that they are totally unavailable. They are involved in their work, in their hobbies, in their bussiness, so they have very little or no time for romance. In the worst case they might also be very busy with old, actual or parallel relations, just because they can.

After some trials with real dating, my friend decided to start the virtual ones. One friend installed Tinder on her phone. Quite handy. If you like to travel, you can find matches within 5 km, eager to change impressions. The downside is that on that website there is a focus and one only. No romance, no candlelight, no “you’re my soul mate” – just “I like your picture, you’re so hot! Would you…?”

Life is long and you can never know what future can hold for you. If you’re happy in your “till death do us part” respect it and show your partner your love and gratitude! If you’re miserable – blame statistics and get out of there. It is not easy, but I can’t describe to you the thrill from my friend’s voice when she meets at 50+ a potential partner. I can hear that “love is in the air” in her voice.

When life knocks you to your knees, stop crying, stop praying, dry your tears, stand up and keep on fighting! Because under the first corner, behind the next hill is he,, your soul mate waiting for you to start a wonderful journey together.



15 iulie 2015 - Posted by | Toastmasters speech | ,

Un comentariu »

  1. I am still waiting for HIM to start a wonderfull journey together!
    I have to wait one year more !!!! ( 3 years break) ….
    Where is my Prince Charming?

    Comentariu de Mihaela | 27 iulie 2015 | Răspunde

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