Brain fitness

I have a confession to make: yesterday I had a quite heavy evening. I went out, meet some friends, have some drinks and instead of spending some short time out, I went to sleep at 2 o’clock. Not my time. So this morning I wake up not so fresh. I didn’t find my phone because I left it in my jacket, so I went to get it from downstairs, there the dog was waiting so I gave her food. I return to my bedroom and I realize that the phone is still missing. I went downstairs and the coffee was ready, so I had my breakfast, I went upstairs and the phone was still missing. Did this ever happen to you? I went 3 times to pick up my phone and each time I started to do something else instead – so, so frustrating!
After I finally found my phone,  and manage to get dressed, I start driving the car thinking at my day and I end up turning toward work instead of driving to Helsinki. So I put on my navigator, start dreaming and continuing my trip – did you ever sleep driving and ending up in the wrong place? So frustrating!

Am I getting old? You know the retiring age is 65? So, not tomorrow… Am I losing my memory? Is Alzheimer one step around the corner? What can I do?

My nephew was studying Cognitive science in Sussex and he started to lecture me that the brain can be brainwashed (weather in Finland is perfect – just use the rights cloths), can be fooled to believe an “alternative reality” (I’m so brave after a few powerful posture – said Amy Cuddy on TED), can be taught to relearn or take over some functions after losing them through some accidents or so on. Later studies also showed that brain can be actually trained as a muscle. So he recommended me www.lumosity.com program. There you can do brain fitness.
The program – online- has over 70E6 members, is used in 182 countries and is develop in cooperation with 36 university.
There you can train there:
-memory to remember locations, associate names with faces, keeping track of information etc;
-attention distribution between multiple tasks, ignoring distractions, picking out patterns
-speed decision making, reacting, reorienting,
-flexibility – adjusting to shifting rules, switching between tasks
-problem solving – using logical reasoning, making accurate estimation, calculating figures in your head, planning.
Research found that if an activity is repeated, the brain tends to fall back on the same set of existing neural pathways. To continue changing, the brain must be exposed to novel, adaptive experiences that challenge it to work in new ways.

How does it work?
Go online, register, make your first test and your brain profile compared to your age category.
The software is tailoring a program for you, that will be adapted based on your performance.
Use the program for 3-5 days a week (it take about 30 mins).
The cost is about 4 euro/months for 1 year of training – the price of a beer; that is known for killing your brain.

Like every other fitness; this one is also requiring commitment, is not enough to pay your gym monthly fee and get 6 packs, so it works in the same way. You’ll feel annoyed when you make mistakes, you’ll feel happy when you succeed, tired when you concentrate and learn, but overall you can see your progress and even the science and the research will be proved wrong, think at it as a different way of spending 30 mins a day instead of watching TV, playing the same computer games over and over or just drinking beer.
Summarizing: brain can be trained, for 4 euro/month, you can ensure yourself a 6 packs brain with Lumosity program. Go for it!

Till death do us part

“Till death do us part!” This is the oath we sworn when getting married. You might have heard it and you might have answered, truthfully, hopefully, sincerely:” I do”.

No one would question your sincerity, “till death do us part” – except the unquestionable statistics.

Let’s take a look: about 40% of first marriages end in divorce after about 8 years; then you take 3 years break and start your second marriage, that has 60% chances to end up in divorce after about 6 years. After this you’ve just learned the drill, so you can do it over and over again – unless your financial or physical status becames so bad that you’re not eligible anymore.

No reason to worry. The statistics have nothing to do with one individual life. One’s perfect or terrible marriage will be treated as an extreme case and will bear very little impact (impact?… because you are using “bear” before) on the entire picture… Unless it happened to your friend.

She got married with Prince Charming when she was 20. They lived happily ever after until one day when Price Charming realized that life is short and he wants more. That day didn’t come after 8 years – like in the statistics – didn’t come after 16 either, it came after 30 years.

So what did my friend so? After many long phone calls, a lot of thinking and a little bit of crying, she decided that she’s the one in charge of her life, it’s time to stop feeling sorry for herself and take action. She was used to a life where the man was around to do stuff, to open the car door, buy flowers, book the vacations… so she started looking for the same deal. However, in 30 years the rules of the game had changed totally! When you’re 20 and your future lies ahead, you don’t look at the CV to check what the man has achieved. What is important are his looks and if he feels full of promise. At 50 I have to tell you that how he looks is still important, however at the same time he has to have achieved also something in his life. One coca cola does not make your head spin anymore – just because it is not healthy 🙂

I can tell you that for a year or so, she brought me up to date with the dating experience and there is war out there. Some are young, good looking and is quite flattering that they are interested in you  – until they open their mouth and start talking.

If they pass the first test, by sustaining an intelligent conversation – it is very probable they fail the reliability test. Here there are 2 options: guys with a vivid imagination (or otherwise named liars)  or guys totally broke that can afford only the coca cola glass.

In another category, there are the successful men. They can talk the talk, they can walk the walk, they can invite you to dinner, they can pay their own dinner, sometimes even your dinner. The downside is that they are totally unavailable. They are involved in their work, in their hobbies, in their bussiness, so they have very little or no time for romance. In the worst case they might also be very busy with old, actual or parallel relations, just because they can.

After some trials with real dating, my friend decided to start the virtual ones. One friend installed Tinder on her phone. Quite handy. If you like to travel, you can find matches within 5 km, eager to change impressions. The downside is that on that website there is a focus and one only. No romance, no candlelight, no “you’re my soul mate” – just “I like your picture, you’re so hot! Would you…?”

Life is long and you can never know what future can hold for you. If you’re happy in your “till death do us part” respect it and show your partner your love and gratitude! If you’re miserable – blame statistics and get out of there. It is not easy, but I can’t describe to you the thrill from my friend’s voice when she meets at 50+ a potential partner. I can hear that “love is in the air” in her voice.

When life knocks you to your knees, stop crying, stop praying, dry your tears, stand up and keep on fighting! Because under the first corner, behind the next hill is he,, your soul mate waiting for you to start a wonderful journey together.

 

Under magnifying glass

 Suddenly I have too much time on my hands and all kind of thoughts and conclusions are invading my brain. Let’s start look at them:

• 1. A friend of mine is dreaming to move in a warmer country and now even started to look there for a house. Another friend was talking about how easy and nice is to move abroad (where she was only in vacation) and telling me that I’m a pessimistic person if I believe that it might be hard.

This week I’m in Firenze, which is south and warm. Am I tempted to move here? No. I missed the sun and the warm weather, but here the sun is an enemy – I try to find the shadow everywhere I go. In addition, is so hot then even in absence of the sun, is hot. In my room I have good air conditioner, but if I turn it down the temperature rises at 30 degrees in 30 mins. So I keep it on a while turn it off, then on again, etc… It’s not fun. I’m alone here and I had a good book, I had no drive to go and search the city. I had a walk, but is was brief – and all what I was thinking was to go out of heat. I like visiting and exploring, but maybe tomorrow… They said that you need several days for acclimatization.

• 2. Another  friend was telling me that without liking the country, you should not consider moving there or starting a relation there.

In my case it goes totally in opposite direction. I would choose my country based on the people there. Not the beauty, not the weather, but love ones, family and friends. Besides, changing countries is a decision with many plusses and minusses – you can adapt or go home, no point in staying between.

• 3. Improvements. After certain age one might notice that people start to treat you differently: some with respect, some condescendingly, some excluding you, voluntarily or not, from common activities. Or all of the above are only in our heads.

For example yesterday there was a rock concert four young acousticians, that I’ve skipped because of the title – and because I didn’t make any effort to find someone to go with. I have an older friend that went through surgical operation in order to look young, I have an younger friend considering the operation. However is it worth the pain and the risk? Is it all what we can offer? A young look? I’ve been also asking my hair dresser who’s 5 years older and looking like – what is her opinion? She’s a marathon runner, preparing nowadays for half triathlon – so she said that how her look is, is not her concern, however she’s definitely interested in keeping her physical shape. Until last year, I might say that was interested in proving that I can still learn/ research / make myself recognized. This year though, I oriented my attention to other area.

So what’s the answer? Is the look, the fitness, the brain training, or something else – more important when we grow older? Can we concentrate on one and forget the others? Should we concentrate more on being ok with where, how and with how we are in that phase or our life, or should we still fight for better, nicer, fitter, smarter? Or maybe we should just change the country?

Mind power

Imi trimite zilele trecute o amica un link ce mi s-a parut f tare.

Stau acum si ma gandesc, uitandu-ma la repezeala pe ce-am mai scris pe blogul asta, ca ma loveste nevoia de a scrie doar cand sunt total intr-o faza albastra… La inceput, cand Tristetea Pamantului a venit cu inspiratia blogului, mai scriam si cand eram mai vesela, si cand mi se intampla ceva de bine – in ultimul timp insa vad ca-mi doar tuna si fulgera. Ascultand-o insa pe Amy, e clar ca fac o greseala. Ideal e sa incep sa scriu despre frumusetea verii, indiferent daca ploua afara, pentru ca asa imi programez creierul sa gaseasca puncte pozitive intr-o realitate pe care nu o pot controla – vremea.

In acelasi ton, azi mi-am schimbat parola. Pana acum foloseam ceva de genul: numaipot6, ascultama3, doamneajuta8. Imi incepeam ziua prin a-mi aminti ce nu-mi merge, prin a ma plange ca mi-e greu. Gresit. De azi am o parola de genul: Ceamaitare1, oziperfecta9, amreusit7. Nu va asteptati sa va fi dat exact parola actuala, insa cred ca ideea ati prins-o. Right?

Nostalgia

I miss the sun. I miss that feeling that I’m free and worriless; I miss the exuberated hope that fills me when I am running around in my parent’s garden with a green wooden fence. I think I was about 4 years old then. I miss my grandmother cocking in the outside kitchen and the grapes raping out in the hot summer. Will I ever be that free again?

Will I ever stop worrying? Is my life passing bye meaningless? Am I working too much without being noticed? Should I make a change? What kind of change? Should I keep fighting? How come that I have to fight for all my rights?  Why does it look so difficult for me and easy for others? Am I asking too much? Am I looking to the wrong side of the bus?

I miss the sun. I am sick of this never ending winter, is almost April and the snow covers my yard, my soul, my days. I’m just the slave of a stupid routine: work, TV, sleep, work, TV, sleep. Is this all? Where is the sun? Bring me my sun…

Ma oftic

Vineri pe 13.3 am absolvit chestia asta cu licenta – cuvant care nici nu exista la noi – in sensul ca e la 75% drum intre master si doctorat. Totul a inceput de la un coleg care m-a intrebat de ce-s decibelii mei negativi. La care eu m-am uitat pe google – nu foarte stiintific, corect? Asa ca m-am dus la Eero si i-am spus ca as vrea sa merg la un curs sa ma lamuresc cum sta treaba sistematic, nu asa dupa google. El a zis ok, o sa aranjez – fara ca eu sa negociez in nici un fel ce inseamna acest efort si stres – din punct de vedere financiar. Termin eu treaba si-l intreb: ce se intampla acum, ma faci sefa? Imi dai vreun grad? Vreun leu cinzeci? La care el imi spune: nu! Asta a fost doar pentru dezvoltarea ta personala. Ok, m-am lamurit, zic eu. Insa diploma e diploma, ma pot lauda cu ea la urmatorul interviu – pun lucrarea ca link si vad incotro o iau. La care el, n-ai voie sa publici teza pe internet ca e secreta! Nici macar sa trimiti pdf-ul n-ai voie!!! Adica nici bani nici glorie. In special dupa etapa in care m-a chinuit sa scriu textul intr-o forma inteligibila, incat m-am muncit cu el din august pana-n ianuarie, desi profesorul meu de la universitate era ultra multumit de la inceput. Rezultatul: voi avea in sertar o teza impecabil scrisa. Curat murdar!

Spring is here

“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”
Winston Churchill

Yesterday I’ve noticed my first snowdrops – very fragile in a corner of my yard. I was quite happy and relaxed. Today I’ve heard that we’ll get frost next week. I’m not worried, this did not happen yet.

My perfect moment

My perfect moment of last week was Saturday when all of us went to the gym. We did some stretching and fit-ball, he was running and lifting weights.

The music was right, the sun was shinning, the effort was reasonable, the sauna was good as usual and then „after sauna walking home” was the climax. A really nice spring day when love is in the air… that was my perfect moment.

Happy diary, day more than 2

I had lunch today with some colleagues from the same course and guess what: they were complaining that there was no happy days in their life and they were unhappy because their bosses, colleagues, family, whatever did not appreciate/paid/loved them enough.  Really annoying complains about things that cannot be practically changed. So, I was wondering – is this how I sound like? Definitely yes. Did I like this? Definitely no.

Therefore my target for this course is to enjoy living every moment, although I am not appreciated and people are not thanking me for being so perfect.

Are my colleagues horrible? I have to appreciate that I am working and have colleagues.

Am I working to much home and nobody noticed? I have to be happy that I have a home.

Is She ungrateful? I have to be happy that she’s home, safe and healthy.

Is the weather cloudy? I have to be happy not to get skin burns…

You’ve got the message… Let’s see how I manage to find the good thing in every annoying situation.

Happy diary day 2

I have the strange feeling that no matter how much I try, my effort are useless. „They” recommend to change the way you perceive the challenge. So I should not care that my efforts are useless? Is this it? Or even more: should I be happy that my efforts are useless?